Ok, seriously, I really like Jon Acuff over at Stuff Christians Like. His blog is funny. His book was funny. His Twitter feed is funny.
He has a guest post up right now, though, by a "comedian" named John Crist, that is just absolutely befuddling. Entitled Stuff Christians (Guys) Like: Girls That Have a Past , Crist goes on to lay out a list of categories that women fall into and assign positive and negative slut points to each.
Curious what activities might fall into the ho-bag category?
Wearing heels to a prayer meeting.
Wearing hoop earrings.
Having a picture in your Facebook profile of you and a male friend.
YES Ladies! These are some of the wild and risque activities that will alert the men in your congregation that you are a Girl With A Past.
As you might imagine, a number of Acuff's readers responded negatively to this bit of what-the-fuckery. Acuff responded with a heartfelt apology and a promise to try harder to see women as fully realized, complex human beings.
HA! I'm such a kidder. That's not what happened. In response to some women being a tad upset at being held up to a list of standards that the Taliban would see as overly strict, Acuff defended the post. It was "satire". It pointed out a problem in men. He'd heard countless men parrot what was said in the post.
Ok, it's not like Christian men being jerks is exactly going to blow up my world view, but I guess I've been naive. I really didn't get that "countless" church guys were operating at this level of douchenozzelry.
So, thanks Jon Acuff!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pour a glass of wine (one point) put on some hoop earrings (two points) and not hang out with church people this weekend (two points)! Whoring it up!!!